i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
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