Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
I want her autograph on my taint
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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