her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
Randomize
