I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Randomize
