soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
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