Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Randomize
