you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Randomize
