Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
Randomize
