I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
Randomize
