Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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