guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
Randomize
