Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
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