you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
The convent might be a nice break from real life
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
Randomize
