there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Randomize
