still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
Randomize