She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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