i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
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