this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
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