She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Randomize