On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
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