just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
Randomize
