you win again, gameday.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Randomize
