It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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