if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
Girls should come with a carfax report
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
Randomize