I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
