You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
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