I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
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