just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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