I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
Randomize
