You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
I can't trust your balls anymore.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
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