Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
Can you repeat that, but with context?
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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