Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
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