the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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