He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
Randomize
