You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
Just pee around me
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
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