rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
i need to put some appletini on your dick
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
