i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Randomize
