So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
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