Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
How's work?
Spinning.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
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