i just google imaged poop.
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
Randomize
