I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
Randomize
