is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Randomize
