Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Randomize
