you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
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