he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize
