I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
Randomize
