I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
