Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
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