Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
Randomize
