# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
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