I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
His hands were made for my vagina.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize
