she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Randomize
