Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Randomize
