Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
Randomize