Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
I pour the whiskey from now on
Randomize
