All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
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