You don't have asthma, your pregnant
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
Randomize
