READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Randomize
