the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Randomize