I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize
