It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Randomize
